This post has Ilan’s resume; his present and past behaviors.
This is what Ilan may look like. I’m not saying this is his photo, but it could bear a similar resemblance.
Ilan’s resume
- He was controlling. He threw tempers to frighten Sonia and get his way. (p. 47) When Sonia shifted the location of his hair dryer, he threw a hissy fit.
2. When his anger failed to manipulate Sonia, “He switched to extreme madness”. He broke crockery, tore Sonia’s expensive silk scarf, and threw her possessions into the garbage outside the kitchen door. (p. 130)
3. He’s stingy. He never paid for groceries as Sonia spent all her salary on them. (p. 128)
4. He is proud and conceited and wants to win all the time. he told Sonia, “… you didn’t start arguing so I could be generous” (p. 124)
5. He is mentally unwell. Sonia experienced his childish tantrums, eating habits, use of recreational drugs, bad temper, bullying, mental illness, womanizing ways, stealing habit, and etc.
6. He’s superstitious. He does a list of acts to ward off bad luck.
7. He’s a thief. He believed he gained energy, by stealing possessions of others. (Desai, p.121)
8. He is a predator of young women. He is 32 years older than Sonia. Ilan threw Sonia out of his apartment at 3 am, an unsafe hour for any woman to return to her own place alone. (p. 130) He humiliated Sonia in several ways – by ordering her to obey him, asking her to kneel before him, telling he was going to share intimacy with other girls, and throwing her out of his apartment. Knowing all this
9. He’s a drug addict. We learn very early that Ilan smoked marijuana regularly.
10. He’s narcissistic. Ilan asked Sonia to flatter his and affirm his worth. He waked her up in the middle of the night, to ask for her praises, and flattery. He also asked if he was “Too much narcissism?” (p. 120)
11. Ilan showed sign and symptom of Oedipus Complex. He said he’s in love with his mother. Ilan says to Sonia, “… the day this photograph was taken – that I saw her reflection in the lake and thought, I am in love with my mother” (Desai, p. 36)
12. When Ilan has his manic episodes, he is not a gentleman. He seems to show a mood disorder, maybe Bipolar Disorder. He may also have Borderline Personality Disorder. Writers are discouraged from portraying characters with mental illnesses so the symptoms are not described with with obvious identifiers. If they are, the disorder is not named.
13. Ilan was married at a young age of 23 and is still married. When his wife visited his home, he threw a childish temper to wriggle his way out of his predicament. His wife told Sonia it was his habit to use women. He even has children born out of wedlock.
14. Ilan is a betrayer. He used Sonia and betrayed her love. He painted Sonia in a compromising pose and exhibited this painting.
LAST NUMBER. Ilan is a rich artist. When he has his good maniac mood, he will buy expensive gifts for Sonia. Like the time he bought a lilac coat for her on the day there was an economic collapse. The narrator explains that “But the collapse did not affect Ilan, for he was too rich, and it did not affect Sonia, for she was too poor.” (p. 117)
After reading through his resume, will you still be interested to be Ilan’s girlfriend?
The trope of the older man lover, Ilan de Toorjen Foss, was used in The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny, a book published and released in September 2025.
Other themes in the book can be found at https://artmater.com/?s=kiran+desai
