Series on HOW TO MANAGE SADNESS *

This is a series of challenges, on how to manage sadness. That is a feeling emotion which we can learn to control and change. Knowledge empowers a person, and helps one know what to change, to reduce or manage sadness.

When God created Adam and Eve, they were a happy couple. After they sinned, they became aware of their nakedness, or inadequateness.

We are the descendants of the first couple. We have inherited their traits. Similarly, we have inadequacies and we feel like failures. Sometimes, we feel jealous of others who seem better off than us. Other times, we are ignorant of our inefficiencies, but others point out our unworthiness.

This is what the famous author, HG Wells, had to say about affliction (suffering):

“Affliction comes to us, not to make us sad but sober; not to make us sorry but wise.”
H. G. Wells.

Is it okay to let loose and cry when you’re sad or continually depressed?

“Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. “

Christopher Morley

After a good cry, you’ve released some stress and tension. You have spent your bad emotional energy. You’ll feel a little relieved. The troubling issue remains, but you’ll feel slightly better. Sometimes, you’ll feel so tired that you’ll fall asleep with a little nap. The negative emotion is like a sleeping pill to send you to sleep.

When does sadness become depression? Clinical depression, or the clinical diagnosis of depression, states that when the feelings of sadness persists for more than two weeks, the person can be said to be suffering from depression. If the person feels continually sad for 13 days, but their mood lifts on day 14, then they never had depression.

“Sadness flies away on the wings of time. “

Jean de La Fontaine

One way of elaborating this is to say that time puts temporal distance between the cause and source of sadness, until it matters less. Take time to grieve over a change, loss or whatever. Time heals the hurt. Two weeks is a rough guideline to assume one has experienced sadness and not depression.

Today, I have a story to tell. An interviewer for my city’s local parks came by my house to conduct a survey. The city’s town planning department wants to know if more parks should be earmarked for development in every township. In order to justify this notion, it has to be established if citizens use parks as positive recreational spaces to self manage low energy mood; better known as negative, sad mood or long term depression.

What has parks got to do with sadness? Everything. The point of surveying was to collect feedback on the usage of parks as places of relaxation. Nature therapy is being explored for relaxation, mood lifting and treating sadness.

Some people can not or do not vocalize their sad feelings. They are at a loss on how to shake off the sad emotions.

On most days, I don’t have time to walk to the park for nature therapy. I only take myself to the park when I am free, or hanker to see people walking their dogs or other pets at the park. The park is for good weather days and during the rainy season, it is practically impossible to go running to the park for nature therapy.

I do my shopping therapy when I need to go out to buy groceries. I don’t have spare money to spend on luxury retail shopping. I usually enjoy going out for a short trip like grocery shopping, to change my mood. Metaphorically speaking, I kill two birds with one stone.

I like this quote from Jackie Kennedy, on sadness;

“One must not let oneself be overwhelmed by sadness. “

What can I do to avoid myself being affected by a sad mood?

1. Walk to the park or beach. Access nature therapy.

1. Love yourself and take care of yourself.
2. Picking Yourself Up.
3. Go out for grocery shopping therapy.
4. Read a book. Browse through book recommendations here.
5. Watch a video.
6. Spend some time on a hobby like craft work, painting, etc. Paint a series of miniatures here.
7. Visit a free exhibition on art.

Whenever you feel sad, put that feeling on a cloud and allow it to float away. Feelings are emotions and affect you only when you allow yourself to be overcome.

If this doesn’t work, think of your past, when a thought or deed succeeded to melt away your sadness which had overcome you.

Just as you have experienced happiness, so shall you also know sadness. This period will help you grow used to adverse times. You become tougher, resilient and not bow to bad times.

No sadness remains for long. Can you even recall when was the last time you felt sad? I guess you can’t remember, or you have difficulty thinking of the exact nature of the episode, which made you feel sad. This tells us that the feeling does not stay with us for long. Time puts distance between us and the cause of sadness. We shall forget that incident. When time wedges between us and that episode even more, we may even. ask ourselves, what was it that made us sad? That matter is near forgotten or its significance has decreased.

What causes sadness, or prolonged sadness which becomes depression?

External or internal stimulations can trigger sadness.

What are the external factors that cause sadness?

1. Serious, long term illness.
2. Mourning for someone.
3. Serious problems.
4. Money problems.
5. Relationship failure.

What are the internal factors that cause sadness?

1. Low amounts of endorphins, which are the enzymes that make you feel good mentally. This is a problem caused by internal chemical imbalance.

While many people think that by resolution of the problems causing external and internal factors that instigate sadness, the individual may find solving these problems are impossible or too time consuming.

Christians pray, meditate, or read the bible for God’s promises, to strengthen faith, increase confidence and reduce stress in anxious situations.

Here’s a list of ways we can pray:

1. Talk to God.
2. Go to church to pray quietly.
3. Attend a communal church prayer event.
4. Read the bible, or choose a psalm that reflects your needs and pray that.
5. Listen to gospel music. There are singers who sing the psalms without changing the original words.
6. Catholics can write a letter of petition to Our Lady of Perpetual Succour (O.L.P.S.). Every Saturday, almost every Catholic church has a schedule of Novena prayer to O.L.P.S., where these letter are prayed over in church, Imagine the power of a large congregation in church, to plead for help to get needs answered.

This post will be continued here soon.

Related posts:

1. https://artmater.com/meditate-on-anxiety-to-stop-depression/