Cai dreams to be good to herself with self-love & self-care. Are you good to yourself with self-love & self-care?
How do you know if you’re good to yourself? What’s self love? Do you practice self-love by accepting yourself unconditionally?
What’s the difference between self-love and self-care? Self love has been defined above. Self care means taking the time to pamper and treat yourself because you’re good where you’re at right now.
There are distinctions between the terminology of “good to yourself”, “self-love” and “self-care”. For now, we’re not fussy with micro differentiations. We’re going to discuss about being good to yourself in a simple checklist.
- Believe in yourself.
- Trust yourself to decide what’s best for you.
- Put yourself first.
- Don’t allow people to bully you. Fight or leave.
- Speak up. Silence is not acceptance.
- Maintain boundaries for your personal time and space.
- Never give up on your needs. Keep them in sight.
- Express your emotions in a safe place.
- You are not responsible for other people. Stop taking the buck for them.
- Prioritise your work to reduce anxiety.
- Accept rejections and move on. You’ll be alright.
- It’s not you at fault. It’s them.
- If you feel lonely, spend time with your hobbies or friends.
- Focus on your present to reduce anxiety.
- Whenever nervous, breathe deeply.
- Be frank on addictions and toss them out..
- Don’t procrastinate – just do it or back out.
- If you can’t make a decision, choose what you feel is right..
- Address your fears to banish them.
- Never sleep on frustrations.
- Examine your life and write your guidelines to handle situations.
- Look for the silver lining in every gray cloud.
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Relax, look at art here.
Why do you need to prioritise self-care over generous care for others? Have you taken a flight before? Do you still remember why you were told to take care of yourself before you can tend to others? If you don’t care for your oxygen need, or life jacket need, you could find yourself struggling to live and in that state, you’re incapacitated to look out for another person.
People take medical leave, and personal leave, to attend to personal needs. They think they must get away to attend to pressing demands for their attention. A person may go away on vacation, to experience a temporary change of environment.
People sell their houses and one of the reasons maybe they desire to leave, to relocate somewhere, to take care of their personal desire or need. This desire for self-care is so concerning that they are willing to spend money to do whatever it takes relocate to a different environment. The expenses incurred are non-reimbursable. If these people don’t do this condition for self preservation, they might crack under pressure. The possible reactions are too many and varied to guess which could happen.
Were you ever pressurized to take on extra tasks/ chores/ responsibilities that taxed considerably, your immaterial resources like energy, time, and material resources like money? You may need to reject additional burdens. You have boundaries in the scope of your job, and in your personal roles. Everyone wears many hats as we are different role players to different people in our relationships in our community. A woman can be a daughter, grand-daughter, girlfriend, wife, mother, sister, cousin, aunt, professional worker, colleague, friend and etc. There is only so much we can do in each role. This is why we need to observe our boundaries of time, space, money and other resources. We need to say reject excessive demands.
Love yourself first before you can love someone else; be they your parent, sibling, relative, acquaintance, colleague, romantic friend or platonic friend. You must love yourself to protect yourself from bullying, abuse, misuse of power dynamics, isolation, manipulation and helplessness. If you’re under prolonged stress, you’re likely to feel traumatised and begin to accept this abuse as a way of life. You even come to expect no other than abuse as a regular trait of your relationships.
Every abuser misuses power to bully their victim. They even reverse the table and say the victim should feel ashamed of themself of their unworthiness and inferiority, which makes them deserving of rough treatment. This is false.
Every human being and living thing has needs. You, me and everyone, has at three fundamental tiers of needs and they are primary needs, secondary needs and self-fulfillment needs.
All living things require basics of food, water, shelter and safety from danger. When these are taken care of, the living thing has time, energy and resources to progress to the next level. Plants and animals seek mating and love. Flowering plants rely on bees, insects and birds to pollinate (mate) their flowers. Animals are mobile and search for their mates. These living things then proceed to their next level, where they flourish, to be the best version of themselves.
Why does a human being stay in an abusive relationship? he or she maybe afraid to negotiate for change, or leave because of several reasons:
- Shame of failure in thev failed relationship.
- Shame of social exposure to family, relatives, friends and work circle.
- Fear of being alone.
- Mistrust of seeking help from close people, therapists, and authorities.
- Help must be directed at the victim and abuser. Both people must be willing to attend solo counseling and couples therapy. Sometimes, even the family members are invited to attend interviews, fact finding sessions and encouraged to engage in changes to help the victim and abuser.
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- https://artmater.com/category/psychology/meditation/
- Look at art to relax https://yashwini/art
