This is a book review on “Fieldnotes of a Psychiatrist”, written by Dr. Chong Siow Ann. He worked in a mental health hospital.

Patients face dying from terminal illnesses. Non-patients may only have brief moments to realise their life is going to be taken from them by calamity, or man made tragedy. In the face of death from either cause, do we go without a fight?

What if the dying do not know their light is withering? Should the healthy tell the dying? Would the dying want to know they are leaving us?

Dr. Chong asks provocative questions as he shares with readers his experiences. There is do definite resolution as he explains how he has regrets on not informing his father of his terminal illness. Even. At the elderly man’s deathbed, Dr. Chong didn’t talk to his father directly about impending death.

The common man and woman on the street think its evil to incarcerate a patient in a mental hospitals, which is actually a thin guise for an asylum. But the stark reality is that there is no other practical way of ensuring the safety of the patient and of the people around them, except by placing the patient under lock and watch. In fact, you can save the patient’s life.

Dr. Chong discusses many questions commonly encountered by patients and doctors. He writes from both perspectives – as a doctor, and as a patient.

It’s an interesting book. Get it here:

Disclosure:

If you buy a book from this link, I may receive a small commission.

James Tan wrote and illustrated a graphic novella on dying and palliative care. His booklet, drawn in comic strip panel style, leans heavily towards the choice to die with dignity.

His booklet highlights the story of a terminally ill, old male patient, who expressed his wish to die without invasive intervention to resuscitate him. The elderly man’s family was divided over letting him die gently, versus using. Intervention to prolong his disease laden life.

Mr. Tan interviewed four medical doctors before writing his draft for All Death Matters.

This booklet “All Death Matters” is not for sale. I received a free copy by contacting the distributor, Lien Foundation.

Reference:

Chong, S. A. (2018) Fieldnotes Of A Psychiatrist. Straits Times Press: Singapore.

Tan, J. (2020). All Death Matters. Lien Foundation: Singapore.

The patient laid on the floor and started crying.

Response: 3.

List of dreams around the theme of Falling Wall:

1. The wall being a physical obstruction.
2. Wall is psychological barrier.
3. Falling wall is a threat.
4. Falling wall is a danger happening.
5. Falling wall can denote a person who is falling in some way.
6. Falling wall is a call to rebuild the wall.
7. It means a stronghold is falling and you have to be aware.
8. Your boundary wall is falling.
9. The falling wall creates a break in the barrier.
10. The falling wall signifies destruction

A falling wall may not be a bad thing in dream interpretation. Dream imagery of a falling wall can mean the boundary that obstructs and divides, may be falling down. The obstructions will be removed. If you’re facing hindrances in your personal life or at work, this dream is a metaphor to tell you that your problems may be over.

If you had seen a falling wall before, the memory may be retained in your brain, only to be replayed in a dream.

While a wall in a dream can be a symbol of a outer boundary of your body, there can be different meanings to other types of walls. If you see a garden wall, or a wall in the external perimeter boundary of your house, it can mean the area of concern is not your body, but about a region that belongs to you. For instance, if you dream of a wall from your garden that is falling down, it can mean something in your possession is at threat of spoiling or getting destroying.

Different types of walls:

There can be another dream interpretation of a falling wall. Your body is a container of your being, and like a house. As with all houses, there are walls. To dream of a falling wall can mean a part of your body has problems and it is failing. In other words, to dream of a falling wall can mean you may be sick.

You can relate to your dream, by reflecting on how it is associated to your waking life.

The meaning of dreaming of a falling wall can be:

1. Destruction in your waking life.
2. Threat of spoilage of something in your possession.
3. Illness in you or someone you know.
4. The boundary wall that divides people and properties, may soon be gone.

Dreams of rebuilding falling wall.

You may dream of rebuilding a falling wall. This dream interpretation says your brain thinks you can salvage the damage by rebuilding. You can mend and repair something tangible or intangible, that has been spoiled. You should listen to your dream and try to rebuild, before totally giving up and leaving.

A wall is a barrier. When it falls, it means the obstacle has fallen. A wall is a boundary. When it falls, it means the boundary is gone. In waking reality, a fallen boundary may be a good sign. The falling wall can imply the barrier to a relationship is down. Maybe the relationship will improve. The metaphor is a falling wall. In reality, the falling wall of boundary and barrier can lead to improving relationship ties.

One of the most famous walls on earth is the old Berlin Wall. The falling wall happened in November 9, 1989. Around 500,000 people assembled in East Berlin to travel out because of an error in a public announcement that did not state they needed to apply for visas to travel out of East Germany. Officials thought they had no choice but to open the barrier to allow people to walk through. Some people started hammering at the wall with hand held tools to crumble it. A small portion of the original wall still stands in Mauerpark (Wall Park). Germans who are old enough to understand the significance of the falling wall commemorate 11/9 every year.

More dream interpretations about falling wall:

As we all know, dream analysis depends on the dreamer’s personal context at that point in time when they had the dream. For instance, if they are experiencing a relationship problem, and one night they have this dream of a falling wall, it can mean this. Maybe a supporting wall, which is a symbol of a foundation wall of the relationship, has crumbled and is falling. The personal situation has triggered and stimulated the dream imagery of falling wall.

Very rarely does a dream about a falling wall translate into a physical wall falling. Sometimes, the dreamer may see a dream of a falling wall, if they have seen visual stimulation input that a wall is crumbling and falling down.

A wall may not be a physical wall. It can be a metaphorical wall, a reference to a barrier put up by yourself. This wall can be for defence and protection. This wall can be a boundary to mark your personal space.

To dream of a falling wall can mean your barrier to the outside world, is crumbling. You may have decided to slowly let down your guard, or to remove this barrier, to live a free and more sincere life.

Using these basic concepts of dream analysis and interpretation, we can decode variations of this dream. For example, if you dream that part of a wall is falling down, you can decipher this meaning. It can mean a part of the underlying structure of masking, deception and protection, is being removed. This can bre a sign for you to plan to do something about this warning. You can either decide to remove the rest of the wall if you’re ready to face the world. Or you can decide to shore up the foundation and structure of the wall.

June 2021

A few people on social media have written about having dreams of a building collapsing, even before news was announced about the condo that collapsed in Surfside, Florida. We have no way of verifying their claims. We can only believe in good faith.

Dream of your house walls falling down:

If you dream of your house’s walls crumbling and falling down, what does it mean? To dream of walls crumbling, can mean either a physical structure is not strong, or an intangible matter like your personal foundation/ moral values/ ethics, is degrading. This is a warning type of dream. You might have to do something to prevent the crumbling, shore up the “walls”, and make it better.

Dream of the wall of your house falling on you:

This dream means your private and domestic world is crumbling. This could be due to a breakdown in relationship, financial difficulty and etc. If you are unaware of such problems developing, then you may have missed out the signs.

If this wall of your house is a shared boundary wall with a neighbor, then you have to reflect on more circumstances to have a better understanding of this dream. Do you have problems at this time of seeing this dream? Does your neighbor have problems? Since it is a shared boundary wall, the fortunes of both families play a part in the maintenance of the wall. If your neighbor is experiencing troubles, can you chip in to help? If your neighbor is out of trouble, it is also good for you, because you share a common boundary. This means whatever is affecting your neighbor may also influence your well-being.

Another dream interpretation for falling wall can be related to the dreamer’s psychology. In the first place, was the wall erected as a self defence mechanism to keep oneself behind the wall? If this person is unwilling to move beyond their comfort zone, they are retarding their progress and doing self harm.

Dream analysis of your internal wall may reveal reasons why you desire to have a boundary between yourself and the world. You feel fragile and this. Intangible wall is your defence mechanism.

To dream of your boundary and defence wall falling can mean you’re letting down your guard.

Did you experience something or someone or even yourself battering at the wall to bring it down?

Dream of making a hole in the wall

If you dream seeing a hole in a wall, it probably means the peep hole was done to spy from the other side of the wall. This is the metaphorical meaning and the implication is that your privacy is compromised.

If you dream of falling wall, but then later you still see a wall standing, the interpretation is that the wall still remains. The dream imagery of a falling wall can mean the problem temporarily disappears, but later, it reappears. The main issue remains. Reflect on this by thinking of the issues in your waking life. Are you bothered by problems which never go away?

Dream of a falling wall can also refer to thawing relations between you and a former adversary. For example, if you and a former enemy have managed to remain peaceful with each other, this could be a metaphor for the imagery of a falling wall.

Dreamt of constructing a wall and it falls:

Dream analysis should involve your waking life. In your present life, have you tried to put up a wall of defence to protect yourself? If yes, this dream tells you that this method failed. If you are in the midst of doing a project, this dream may be a message to tell you that the project will not succeed.

Dream of walls in west falling:

The walls in west symbolises your issue in the west. The most famous associations with the west are the countries traditionally called the West. Dream imagery of the walls in west falling can mean there may be major disruptions in Western countries.

Another association is the belief of the setting of the sun in the west. The walls or foundations in the west can refer to your setting sun years, that is, your twilight years. This dream could be a foretelling warning of the hard road ahead when you’re in the west and setting years of life.

Dream concerning destruction of wall:

This can mean the protection or obstruction (of the barrier) is being removed. You will be free of the wall, but you’ll be exposed to elements.

Collapsing wall dream meaning –

This dream can be an expression of your desire to remove the barrier. It can be good news, or bad news, depending on what the wall means to you.

Dream meaning of brick wall falling:

Although a brick wall was seemed as sturdy and reliable, it has failed expectations. It is vulnerable to weakness and destruction too.

Dream of holding on to a wall during a fall –

You are unprepared to let go of a failing resource because you’re unprepared. You lack a backup. This dream is a warning to tell you to get prepared to face bad news.

Dream of being on top of a wall:

If you dream of standing on top of a wall, it means you have achieved some level of personal success. The wall (obstacle) that used to pose a challenge to you, has been conquered. You are now at a higher position, which gives you some advantage. However, be mindful of your precarious standing. You need to take care of your footing. This dream may be telling you to look afar. Plan ahead. For you don’t know when your privileged position may be gone.

Dream of falling from a height:

Dream of falling from a height can be symbolic of the dreamer’s fall from grace. The dreamer may have been challenged with a moral dilemma, and may have been tempted to take the easy path. The dreamer’s unconsciousness might have triggered this dream, to remind them of the consequences of choosing the wrong direction.

Dream interpretation of dreaming of falling:

You may dream of falling soon after falling asleep. This dream could be triggered by your tired body losing consciousness, and letting go of the cares and burdens of this waking world.

Interpret dream of wall paper

If your bedroom or room has wall paper and you still dream of wall paper, it can mean you have a secret desire to change the present wall paper.

If your room has no wall paper, then this dream hints to you to install wall paper.

On the broader scope, dreaming of wall paper can mean a desire to decorate (or re-decorate) your room.

Old Testament story of the falling wall:

Joshua ordered his soldiers to march around the walls of the city of Jericho. He told his men to shout and blow. on their horns made of rams’ horns. The vibrations in the air caused the walls of Jericho to crumble and fall down. The boundary of defence was destroyed. Joshua and the Israelites invaded Jericho and destroyed it.

If you are a Christian and have read this story in your bible, then it might have created a lasting impression in your brain. As and when your life situation comes across an incident that suggests you face risks, then your brain may recall this information of falling wall, and bring up this dream.

Real scene wall fence falling in dream:

If you dream of a real scene of wall fence falling, it can mean you saw this happening in your waking reality. This real scene probably made a big impression on you and that is why it appeared in your dream.

Dream about wall falling near water:

Centuries ago, castles and strongholds had moats around them. When their wall falls, it probably would fall into the water of the moat. In modern context, the significance of a wall falling into water might imply that there is reduced impact of the crushing wall debris, assuming that there are few or no boats and humans in the water.

Fallen wall dream:

Sometimes, you may dream of the aftermath of a sad event, like a fallen wall. You are too late to witness the event live, but on the other hand, you are spared the trouble and trauma of witnessing a bad event while it is happening.

A reader asked to interpret this: “In my dream a wall was falling.” This can mean you will be caught in the action. The dream imagery of a falling wall can mean any matter that is failing or has negative consequences. You should look at the issues surrounding your present life and try to decide which is urgently in need of amendment.

Dream of men helping to restore a falling wall:

If you dream of a falling wall, but there are men helping to restore it, it means help is present to rectify a problem. In real life, you may be having a problem. This dream may be a message telling you that help will come, if you are in despair.

Dream of falling down from wall, or dream of falling down from building:

This dream interpretation means some sort of bad event is going to happen to you. You may have some hint of it happening, during the course of daily events in your waking day. Dream imagery of a fall may not mean a physical fall from a height. Dreaming of falling can mean a fall from grace, from moral correctness, fall from favor and etc.

This fall can be a back stabbing from your competitor or enemy. You should be alert and watch your step.

Dreaming a new wall falling

To see a new wall falling in a dream, is bad. This means that the assumption that new is good and reliable, is no longer dependable.

Dream of a brick wall falling:

A brick wall looks sturdy and reliable. To dream of a brick wall falling means you’re called to re-evaluate your circumstances. What used to be dependable, is no longer a stalwart reliable strength.

What does it mean when someone dreams a wall fell on him:

This can mean that person is too late to escape the falling wall. The dire situation is about to happen. This dream has personal meaning for the dreamer. The dreamer needs to consider their situation and circumstances, to draw relations with this dream imagery.

Dream of silent wall

What’s the meaning when you dream of a silent wall? Isn’t a wall always silent?

Have you heard of the idiom/ proverb – “Even walls have ears”? This translates to mean that whatever is said, or whatever happens, can not be fully hidden because someone is bound to have heard it or seen it happen.

When you dream of the silent wall, the meaning is to refute against the above argument. Nobody sees or hears. Even if someone did see or hear, they will stay silent and not come to your aid should you need a witness to speak up for you.

Meaning of dreaming you fell down from wall:

Remember the nursery rhyme of Humpty Dumpty? It goes like this:

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king’s horses and

all the king’s men

couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Did you ever fall down from a wall? Were you seriously injured? If you sustained an injury that could not heal, then your brain would remember that fall as a traumatic event. You’re likely to dream of your fall periodically.

Table of summary of meanings for dreaming of falling:

Summary of dream interpretations on wall:

1. Obstacle
2. Protective barrier
3. Metaphor
4. Boundary/ border to mark areas
5. Maybe a standalone wall or part of a bigger structure

Ways to go through a wall which is an obstacle:

1. Through a door
2. Under the wall, via a tunnel/ underpass
3. Climb over the wall

Condition of the wall holds meanings in the dream interpretation.

1. A crumbling wall means you’re not maintaining your health.
2. A crumbling wall can also mean you have damaged your image or reputation.
3. The condition of the wall can also mean your life is in ruins. You maybe facing failures and challenges in your personal life and/or working life.

The height of the wall in your dream carries meaning too.

1. A low wall means surmountable obstacles.
2. A high wall means a stack of obstacles.

Dream interpretation of climbing a wall:

You’re moving upwards in life. You may experience change ion your status/ finances/ luck/ pathway. You may have chosen to climb up to move away from people/ events/ situations at the foot of the wall.

If you see dream imagery of a wall with a door, it symbolizes your life’s situation at this present time. You face a choice of opening the door and walking through.

If you can see that it is a front door in the wall, then it means you’re offered a formal route of entry past the wall (which is an obstacle).

If you see a back door that has been hacked into the wall, it means you’re facing the untraditional mode of entry to get past the barrier.

Dream imagery of a fence:

A fence is similar to a wall. The fence is a complete encirclement. It is a boundary to denote private space that is protected from intrusion. A fence keeps you within your comfort zone as its boundary reminds you of your space.

What is the difference between dream imagery of fence and wall?

A fence is usually not totally opaque but a wall is solidly opaque unless it has small gaps in its design. You can’t see what’s on the other side of the wall.

Dreaming of the walls of your home:

Your home is your sanctuary within four walls. You’re shielded by those walls. What happens if the walls are not there? What will the situation be when your home’s walls are incomplete?

Will your home still remain as your home? Will you plan to repair your walls? Or will you move away? If you feel insecure with incomplete walls in your home, you will plan to move out.

Invisible walls:

Invisible walls are non-physical boundaries. Although unseen, invisible walls are tangible because they exist and act on you. For example, gender is a wall and it acts as gender inequality.

Examples of invisible walls:

Race is a wall.

Rules are walls because they restrict you.

Religion and its rules demand followers’ obedience to the word of their law.

Social groups have their own culture. If you belong to one, you have to follow their culture and behave like them.

Another perspective dwells on the possibility that this dream can be an allegory to a problem in a relationship. factor or factors could have contributed the walls of the perimeter of the love relationship coming strain of collapsing. If one of the parties in the relationship turns cold or withdraws, it creates the impression that the walls of the relationship are collapsing. Why does a man withdraw from the relationship? John Gray, the author of “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”, says “A man automatically alternates between needing intimacy and autonomy.” (Gray, p. 101). He withdraws when he needs time alone. the woman who is unaware of gender differences, will feel confused when her man withdraws. She feels the walls of her emotional security collapsing.

Dream interpretation done in the style of Freud:

Freud related almost every symbol to gender and sex. A dream of collapsing walls could be an allegory to a woman’s uterus collapsing. It may be a reference to a problem in reproductive capacity.

In case you’re searching for info on how to repair a falling wall, here’s a video:

How to sleep peacefully without dreams

There could be aids to help you sleep better. A peaceful sleep would be one that allows you to rest mentally, physically and emotionally. Some people believe crystals can help them sleep soundly. According to common beliefs, there are at least 5 crystals that may help you to experience a sound sleep.

Black Tourmaline.

Howlite.

Lapis Lazuli.

Moonstone.

If you don’t know which stone to use, why not wear a mix of purple amethyst, blue lapis and black tourmaline?

Note – I may receive a small commission if a customer buys a product.

I have a small background in healthcare and the prompt howl immediately brought back memories of how patients would howl to express their frustration even when they experience no physical pain.

I used to take cab rides to my place of volunteer work in a mental health hospital and before my driver dropped me off at the porch, he would hear patients’ howls which echoed off the high ceilings in the wards, even though the entire hospital was air-conditioned and pretty much sealed.

The howls sounded as if patients were tortured and this couldn’t be farther from the truth but this was tough to explain to sane people who have never seen mental illness, so the drivers asked me if I was afraid to work inside the hospital as they assumed all patients would express violent behaviors towards staff.

Many patients have recovered or ready to be re-integrated into society but their families have abandoned them, thus they have nowhere to stay and remain in long term care as wards of the state.

No matter where we live in the world, many of us “burdened beasts” complain about our state not doing enough to ease our lot but seeing how the country loves and pays indefinitely for the sustenance of her unfortunate residents, I was moved; to plead for families to bond and help one another progress onward in life’s journey – that is the common dream for broken families.

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The link below is a sample of my comic based on experiences in the mental health care facility.

Mental Health Comic #10 .

Prompt “howl” from Sunday Six Sentence Stories from girlieontheedge1.wordpress.com blog.

If you were hungry while sleeping, your stomach may send signals to your brain. Since you’re in a sound sleep, you would not be awakened, to get food or drink to satisfy your stomach. Instead, your brain offers you the next best thing. You dream of cooking food. Alternatively, you dream of eating food. Some sleepers may actually grind their teeth because they believe they are eating in the dream.

This drawing is part of Mental Health Comic series. If you’re interested to search for more comics about my experiences working as an intern in that hospital, use the search box. Alternatively click on the link:

Mental Health Comic.

Dreaming of addiction to food

Addictions can be caused by problems. When a person is unable to cope with their problems, they may use an activity to distract themselves from their problem. Engagement in this activity may become so intense that it is an addiction. If you dream about having an addiction, it means you have a problem in waking life. You are not addressing this problem and that’s why you have an addiction.

A dream is a wish fulfillment of a desire that is known during waking reality.

You might wish to reflect on themes in your life, that may have caused this dream about being addicted to food.

Sometimes, the dream may not be expressing a message about addiction, but of hunger. Hunger during the day causes a desire to eat to satisfy the craving for food. Weight watchers and dieters who constantly starve themselves, or purge their food, are frequently hungry and desire to eat. It seems they have an addiction to food but that is not the case.

Weight watchers who have a real problem with maintaining a healthy diet should seek professional help.

Dream interpretation of food

Dream interpretation of food –
The quality of food in your dream tells you about how your life is going on. If you see imagery of poor quality food, it means your waking life is a struggle. Your food is lean. If you see good quality food in your dream, it means you will enjoy a better life with some comfort in good food.

Have you ever dreamed of food?

Food: Dream Interpretation #14

How dreaming of food relates to your life
When you’re hungry and your brain knows it, you dream of food and cooking food. Your stomach gives the direction for the brain to think about food.

However, if you (either male or female) are already unfaithful before having this dream of the other sex partner, then this dream does not have much impact. It could be a dream of nostalgia for your other partner.

You may dream of a woman and know instinctively she is your husband’s mistress. You might have picked up vibes that your spouse has someone who he treats as more important than you. For example, he might leave you alone in the dark, while he hails the first available cab, to send him to his girlfriend / mistress’ hotel room. If you felt hurt at this slight, it may trigger a dream about your husband’s mistress. If you ave observed your spouse’s behaviors and seen how your trust has been betrayed by acts of infidelity, then your knowledge may trigger dreams of your spouse cheating on you. 

Sometimes, there are other interpretations of this dream about your husband’s mistress. Your emotional insecurity could also be a factor in triggering this kind of dream. If you have observed your spouse, checked on his fidelity, and derived at the conclusion that he has not been keeping a mistress, then you need to work on your emotional security. Feeling suspicious and gut instinct are different i nature. You should have observations and empirical evidence to support your suspicions. 

Has there been cause for you to feel jealous? If there were no real evidence of unfaithful behaviors, you might wish to work on your trust issues.

If the main theme is about you, like you are the one who is straying away from your marriage, then this may trigger a dream about your husband having a mistress. You may have thought of breaking away from your domestic relationship, leaving your position vacant for the next successor. You might wonder who would be your estranged husband’s girlfriend or mistress, or you wouldn’t care less. 

You may dream of your husband’s mistress but in reality, does he really have a mistress? Men spend a large proportion of time at work. In fact, a common saying goes, “A man is married to his work”. This is because he spends a lot of time  on his work. His work can sometimes be mistaken as his mistress as he does not go home punctually, or he spends his weekends away from home because he clocks up hours at work.

Some men have hobbies like fishing, playing pool, golf, or recreational activities. These events take up time. The wife or family who waits at home for his return, may wonder where he has went and may even think he spends time with a mistress. The husband who spends a lot of time on his hobby may be misunderstood as cheating on his wife. The husband who is away from his wife for long periods of time, may trigger dreams of cheating. The wife may suspect her spouse of cheating, because of her husband’s mistress or girlfriend. 

There are different cases, where the wife might not even suspect her husband for cheating. She did not dream in real life, nor in her night, that her husband would cheat on her. Then one day, she gets a stimulus that her husband has cheated. This is a devastating shock. The wife who was too busy attending to her sphere of responsibilities, may not have picked up signals that her husband was cheating.

A wife’s pregnancy is commonly the time when her husband cheats on her. There have been countless stories of how the husband strayed away from his wife, at the time when she appeared less attractive with her ballooning abdomen.

Dreams can be triggered by factors. The meaning of the dream depends on your personal knowledge of what the dream symbol means to you, your experiences with the dream icon, cultural meanings attached to the symbol, current themes and situation in your waking life, emotional feelings and a combination of these factors. 

Story:

One day, I met a man who is not married to the woman he was accompanying. That man was a stranger. He probably was a bachelor, or a husband of a woman who was not standing beside him at the taxi stand. You may ask, how did I know he was not married to that woman? He acted as though he was not accompanying the woman. He stood there behaving detached and isolated. He pretended to be busy with his smartphone by scrolling down the screen, or texting.

The woman flagged down a taxi and very softly, spoke to the driver about her destination. The driver was talking loudly because he was anxious about leaving his shift and he wanted to drive to locations which were near to his desired location. The woman got uncomfortable and asked the driver why he was shouting. Then she said the name of a hotel. Then the driver understood that she desired discretion. He really turned down his volume and I could no longer hear his replies. The man was still detached and seemed unknowing of his female companion conversing with the cab driver.

This episode in real life was like the play of somebody’s husband, who had a mistress on the side and this mistress was taking him to a hotel.

Dreaming of husband’s mistress can be a reality when:

1. Your husband practices polygamy. In certain social cultures like cults and sex cults, polygamy is practiced. Certain religions like Islam tolerate polygamy under some conditions. A Muslim man is allowed to marry up to four wives, if each wife consents to their husband taking on yet another new wife.
2. Some ethnic groups from some Southeast Asian countries, South America and elsewhere, were found to have practiced polygamy.

Story:

A woman told me this story. She had nagging suspicions her husband was cheating on her with another woman. He kept his cell phone under his pillow and took calls at odd hours of the night. On weekends, he also spent a copious amount of time chatting on his phone. The poor wife initially trusted her husband. She was none the wiser because he conversed in his mother tongue, which wasn’t English, and she didn’t understand his language. When she asked him about his calls, he evaded her curiosity by saying he had urgent calls from his friends or relatives back in his former native soil.

One day, the wife opened her husband’s wallet out of curiosity. She saw a condom wedged in one of the plastic pocket sleeves of the wallet. She was shocked. What was he doing outside, that he needed to carry a condom in his wallet? He has become ever ready to rise to the occasion. The woman said she confronted her husband. He told her that he was sometimes approached by gay men and he  felt compelled to keep a condom ready, just in case he was raped.

Now, this wife was not intelligent at all. She was a homely woman, who spent all her time on housework, childcare, and freelance writing online. She wasn’t worldly, but trusting. She believed in her husband.

One night, this wife had a strange dream. She dreamed her husband was at the airport. There was a woman standing nearby. The wife knew by intuition, that the woman was her husband’s girlfriend. She was sending him off. The next morning, she thought nothing of her dream, because she dismissed it as nonsense.

Months passed by. The wife thought the previous puzzle with the condom was resolved. Then one day, her husband dropped a bombshell. He had resigned from his job and applied for another. He signed up for a teaching post in a developing country. He was leaving behind his wife and young child.

The wife was shaking with fear. “How can you leave us? I barely make enough money to get by”.

“Its time for you to ask your dad to loan you money”, he said.

“Please don’t go,” she begged him.

“I’m leaving. My flight is booked”.

The husband left for four years. He visited his wife and young child twice during this time. The wife accidentally found circumstantial evidence he spent time in the company of a woman.

This sad story shows how the woman’s dream of her husband cheating on her with a mistress, was true.

Comic series on WHY MEN CHEAT.

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Above comic was inspired by essay from Ebony Utley (2011).

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Common tell tale signs your husband has a mistress:

1. He goes out after dinner and tells you not to wait up.

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Husband tells wife at the very last minute, that he’s going in to work on Saturday.

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A wife should be suspicious when her husband often goes out to play golf, on Sundays.

Coming soon in this post:

Dreaming of relationship interference from cheaters who desire to scam money out of romantic dalliance.

This is a story I’ve been trying to tell. The old man is past his prime and has old age health problems. He wants to trap a younger woman to use as his sugar Mommy. He wants to usurp a woman who is already trained in domestic foundations, in order to ease himself into the established role of the man in the family.

The woman target of his amorous and ill directed advances, thinks of her family and wants to preserve the sanctity of her family unit.

The woman refuses the old leech’s sexual advances. The old man tried to enlist the help of his younger colleague, to collectively pressurize the woman into submission. The young man is exasperated as he knows the woman can not be forced into a romantic affair with the old man.

Of course, the old man does not obey his boss.

The female boss is in a covert relationship with one of her staff, which happens conveniently, to be the old man’s Younger Colleague.

Younger Colleague sometimes talks about being called by the boss, to perform menial chores, like wiping the vending machine, with a rag. This is essentially not in his line of duty.

If you wish to attract male or female admirers, get a dog. I drew this comic after a real life incident. The man in the comic had a pug dog. This breed has a fierce, frowning face with tick wrinkles. Yet, his dog managed to win the attention of not one, but TWO women. Mind you, these were beautiful women. The first woman wanted to take pictures of the pug dog. The second woman wanted to pet the dog. If I had time to wait there longer, I might have seen more women coming to pay homage to the dog. If your husband or wife has a dog and brings it for walks, be careful. The dog might just be a prop to attract people and then relationships may sprout out of the seemingly innocent encounter.

New incident:

There is an apartment unit whose main occupant rears a small dog. A plump, long haired woman, from a certain background and culture, sometimes comes out to the balcony to stand and speak to her relative. At other times, the small dog goes out into the balcony to sit or lie down. Over the space of a few months, another woman is seen standing at the same balcony, with the same small dog. This is a different woman, with short hair and slim figure, is from a different background and culture. The dog remains the same but the woman has been changed.

There is more to come. More pictures will be uploaded here. Please check back periodically from time to time. New pictures will be pasted here when they are colored and ready.

April 2020

There is a celebrity gossip story about a dating couple. The man is older than his girlfriend. They had been dating for 9 years, with some of these years co-living together as a couple. He has two cell phones, with one exclusively used to communicate with women. He told his live-in love that she should trust him, and not check his phones. One day, she did. She found evidence he was cheating on her, and confronted him. He promised to mend his ways. This girlfriend believed him and gave him a second chance. She soon discovered he wanted a third chance, then a fourth chance, then fifth, then sixth … After nine years, she finally parted ways with him. Much later, she revealed he had invited women over to their shared home, whenever she wasn’t home. Also, whenever he traveled out alone without her, he would invite women to his room. After their breakup, she exposed his behaviors, because she wanted to warn all his girlfriends about him.

In power relationships, like when a woman is indebted to her boss, he can take advantage of her and she, him, by developing a sexual relationship. This girlfriend accused her ex-boyfriend of taking advantage of his makeup artiste and colleague/ protege, to ask for intimacy. The cheated woman was afraid she would have caught a sexually transmitted disease and she went for testing.

This man’s alleged side chick made some outrageous remarks about her boss being her boyfriend, flirted with him in their public works and showed off her expensive birthday presents gifted to her by her boyfriend-boss. When people knew about the complicated love triangle, they mostly sided with the wronged woman.

Healing after ill treatment from cheating –

Ill treatment is a form of abuse. If the husband does not respect his wife/ partner, and keeps a side chick along the way, he has misused his power. He misused it to cheat with another woman. Everyone has their own power, including the cheated spouse/ girlfriend. The cheated partner can use their power to heal over this damaged relationship.

When you were cheated on, you did not have any control over this. Your partner/ spouse went ahead to commit the affair. Now that you are aware of it, you have the power to choose what you are going to do about it. You are going to heal over your hurt.

You can use your anger in a productive way. Learn to practice a hobby or new hobby. If you can make small or big products for sale, or collect for its beauty, you are channeling your time and energy positively.

If you had been dreaming of husband’s mistress and think you’re cheated, how can you help yourself?

1. Stop thinking about the past. Let it go. I think, and therefore I am. So when you think of hurts, you become that hurt person who’s bleeding pain. Instead, think positive thoughts. I think positive, therefore, I am positive. I am going forward after this episode.
2. If you feel abandoned and afraid, don’t. Turn to your close relatives and friends. Think of mending first before you think of separating and divorce. Can you accept and forgive him? Do you want to give him another chance? Do you want to try mending your broken relationship? How has he responded to repair the relationship?
3. If you both decide to end the relationship in marriage, think of how to progress forward. Can you handle your new set of finances? If you were not working before, are you going to start working after your split? Going through your practical issues will reduce your stress and anxieties.
4. Acknowledge your emotional stress and needs. It hurts to know betrayal and feel unjustly cheated. Cry if you feel like it because emotional de-stressing helps you to slowly heal.
5. You will reminiscence about the past. As you think over each challenging episode, you may gain new insights about why things happened in those ways.
6. If you need to talk to someone, seek out your confidante. Sign up for professional counselling if you think you need professional therapy.

Meaning of this dream of being with my mistress and my husband relaxing

There was an anonymous search for this dream interpretation. If the dreamer is a male, and he dreams of being with his mistress, while his gay husband is relaxing, it means the dreamer may be bisexual (attracted to both male and female). Since the dream imagery shows his husband relaxing, it can mean the husband is all right and accepting of sharing his husband with a woman.

If the dreamer is female, and dreams of being with her mistress, while her husband is relaxing, it means the dreamer is bisexual. While her husband accepts this fact and also that she has a mistress, it means her husband accepts this triangular relationship.

Dream of seeing husband’s lover, but then you and her became friends. What does this mean?

This might mean your intuition tells you to let go of the relationship. You no longer have a close relationship with your husband. That is why you saw dream imagery of yourself not being angry with his infidelity. On the contrary, you are making friends with your rival. This is just a dream interpretation. You can try to discover if there is such a woman in your husband’s life. If the answer is yes, you have to consider if you desire to save your marriage. You might confront your husband to talk about his other woman. Is he interested to save the marriage? You might want to hire a marriage counselor. You may have to persuade him to attend couples’ counseling. Both parties may have grievances. You need to discuss these issues with him. You need to come to terms or reach a middle ground. How you proceed after your dream and finding the truth, depends on you.

Dream I’m talking with my husband’s mistress on the phone:

Your intuition may have triggered this dream to inform you that you know about your husband’s mistress. You may be knowing her identity as a friend, acquaintance or relative. You might have seen signs that this person has behaved in unusual ways around your husband or family. Your intuition may have been triggered. Consciously, you want to deny your suspicions because this person is known to you. You are not ready to face facts. Your brain may have invented dream imagery of you speaking on the phone with someone who allegedly is the mistress.

You should not take a dream interpretation as the truth. You need to reflect on your circumstances, and whether the interpretation relates to your present situation. You need to conduct your own checks to verify your suspicions. You need to investigate and check on behaviors, activities, his expenses and other tracking patterns.

The dream may suggest there is unhappiness in the marriage. There may not be a real mistress, but the dream imagery suggests of a drift and distancing because the couple has grown apart.

What is the state of your marriage? If you’re interested to renew, revive or just discuss about your marriage, sit down to have a frank talk. If you need a third party to mediate, hire a counselor or marriage therapist. Talk to your husband. If he agrees to attend couples therapy with you, that is one way to move forward.

Jan. 2021 – another story of a married man, (let’s code name him C1) who is the husband of a woman (code name C2). This man has a close relationship with another woman, (code name C3) who is his neighbor. This C3 woman is married with a child. C2 is not yet jealous of C3, because she does not think that her husband C1, is having an affair with C3. C2 does not think C3 is her husband’s romantic interest, even though C3 behaves as a close confidante of C1. Meanwhile, C3 treats C1 as her real friend. She genuinely wants the best for C1. She helps C1. She puts his interest before hers. She even thinks she should commit crimes for him, because C1 is her friend.

Checklist to find clues about husband having a mistress, or checklist for clues to see if boyfriend has another girlfriend.

Meaning of seeing my husband with a concubine in a dream:

Before jumping into conclusions like your husband having another woman, do your checks. Read the checklist above.

The woman in the dream can be your alter ego, another personality within you. Do some checks before reaching a conclusion.

Dream of suing your husband’s mistress:

Can you actually sue your husband’s mistress? If in real life, you have heard of suing your husband’s mistress, then this could be a trigger for dreaming up that theme. Whether you can sue your husband’s mistress depends on where you’re living. You need to consult with your nearest lawyer.

Dreaming of talking to your husband’s mistress:

It is not a good idea to confront your husband’s mistress in physical meeting or written communication. It gives fodder for repercussions. You should not say or do anything that may jeopardize your standing. It is part of the human psychology to think and feel distress at the injustice suffered. However, you don’t want to provide evidence for the mistress or your husband, to sue you. The laws of every state and country differ. You should consult with your trusted lawyer, on your next course of action.

Dreaming you talked with your husband’s mistress’ husband:

This dream can happen if you entertained thoughts of speaking to your husband’s mistress, to address the issue. When you are the wronged woman, you will have a lot to say. However, it is not a good idea to talk to the husband of the woman with whom your husband is having an affair. You should consult your lawyer on what to do for your next course of action.

When you dream your husband asking to have a side chick what does it mean?

When you dream your husband asking to have a side chick, it may mean you are aware of unhappiness between the two of you. This dream was triggered by input stimulus which alerted you.

Another interpretation can be that your husband is developing a hobby (side chick) and he is going to ask you for your permission to spend time on his new hobby.

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Why dreaming of your husband is a message:

If you dream of your husband, its likely because of a stimulus received recently during your day. Dream imagery of your husband does not mean that character is your husband. Its because all dream characters are invented from a part of you. You see dream imagery of your husband because that dream was created using an aspect of you.

Dreaming of somebody cheating on you is symbolic. The issue is not who has cheated on you, as dream characters are not who you see them to be. These characters are invented from bits of you. The real message is a warning, that you are vulnerable to being cheated. You should make changes to take better care of yourself.

Dream husband’s mistress is pregnant:

Dreams are not literally true. Their imagery is symbolic and the underlying message is not a translation of what you see. This is being said, the dream is about your husband’s project which is brewing and may not be literally his mistress who is pregnant.

Dreaming of your husband’s mistress being pregnant has other dream interpretations.

This dream can be a simulation of something that is happening. It can refer to other projects that are developing.

If you’re a female and biologically fertile, this dream can be a warning about an unexpected pregnancy.

Some women feel the pressure of their ticking biological clock. They may have difficulty conceiving. In their anxiety, they dream of their husband keeping a girlfriend/ side-chick/ mistress, who becomes pregnant.

Dreaming of your husband keeping a mistress may mean that you married the wrong man. You may blame yourself for failing to keep him faithful to you. Or you may blame him for being the unsuitable match.

Dreaming of your husband’s mistress can mean you’re not getting enough attention from your spouse. You suspect him of keeping a mistress because he does not pay attention to you.

Dreaming of your husband cheating on you can mean you lack confidence in him.

Why woman thinks her man has a mistress

Dream of beating husband’s ex mistress:

To beat your husband’s mistress means to compete against the mistress and win your husband back. Ms Scholastica Bassey wrote a self-help book on winning the battle against your husband’s mistress.

Disclaimer: I may earn a few cents if you buy a product using this link.

References

Smith, D. J. (2010). Promiscuous Girls, Good wives, and cheating husbands: Gender inequality, transitions to marriage, and infidelity in Southeastern Nigeria. Anthropol Q. 2010 Winter, 83(1): 10.1353/anq.0.0118. DOI: 10.1353/anq.0.0118.

Utley, E. A. (2011). When Better Becomes worse: Black wives describe their experiences with infidelity. Black Women, Gender and families. Spring 2011, Vol. 5, No. 1, p. 66 – 89. Board of Trustees of the University of Illinois: USA.

Related post:

Healing broken heart after dreaming and seeing husband’s mistress.